Published June 29, 2025
by Andy Berges
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In Ralph Waldo Emerson's "Self-Reliance" essay he asserts that, “Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion. It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs.”
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In other words, society values conformity and expects people to adhere to a specific set of standards and to think in a particular way. Conversely, it is deemed unacceptable for people to be self-reliant and to think independently.
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From a very young age, we are conditioned by our parents, teachers, and peers to conform. Due to our naivety and immaturity, we often compliantly behaved and thought in ways that were enforced by others.
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By the time we reached adolescence, the social pressure to conform with group norms intensified. Various tactics were used to encourage conformity. This included criticizing, bullying, and shaming us.
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Prior to the 21st century, conformity was primarily enforced by people within one’s environment and community. However, in today’s world social networks are the preferred means since they easily allow conformists worldwide to bully and ostracize those who choose to be self-reliant.
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While it is easy to understand why many of us felt the pressure to conform during our formative years, there comes a pivotal moment of maturity when we gain the insight to recognize that we must resist the urge to allow others to mold us into a version of ourselves that is inauthentic.
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God did not create any of us to live a life of conformity. As Romans 12:2 declares, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
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Pursuing one's God-given calling establishes meaning in one's life, so choose not to be included among the billions of people who have lived lives devoid of meaning simply by giving in to the pressures of conformity.
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Instead, believe in yourself and choose to live authentically. Resist the urge to conform and avoid masquerading through life as an impostor while keeping in mind what Emerson once said:​
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“Insist on yourself; never imitate. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”